Family Roles: a Difficult Deprogramming

After watching Mado’s video in the post on Sexuality, Basic Income, Sri Aurobindo and more…, a reader left the following comment:

Hi! Regarding family, I am having a difficult time formulating a way to explain to my children (who have their own children/my grandchildren) my journey. I know it comes from fear of rejection, fear of ‘then who am I?’, fear of my self worth. I feel this video would be a good introduction to explain my journey. [read full comment]

Following this comment, Mado took the time to share her thoughts on the family programming along with her own experience. I thought her answer deserved a full post as it might benefit many of us who feel entangled in family roles and who, silently (or not), would like to get out of them but don’t know how – or, simply, don’t dare doing so. Mado covers a few points that can inspire you in walking the path of family deprogramming, which is indispensable for an idessic transformation (union body-soul). Here is her answer “as is”.

Mado: Here are a few insights to consider about family matters in relation to the personocratic path.
1- Family programming is the first one we learn after we are born. At that moment, our bodies are totally dependent on external help. So, we suck up that program really quickly and thoroughly. Also, it gets reinforced for decades, through various roles (daughter/son, brother/sister, mother/father, etc.), so it becomes multilayered and multifaceted. Education and the media make us believe that family roles are great and must never be questioned. Thus, family programming is the most difficult one to unravel for a Personocratia. Its dissolution starts by a first very, very firm decision. Then, it takes a lot of PEP (Patience, Endurance, Perseverance) to go to the end of the deprogramming.
2- In family relations, we play all three main roles one after the other (and sometimes simultaneously): victim/sheep, culprit/wolf, savior/shepherd.
For example, in my case, I wHell-Triangleas the savior of a very sick child (my third), until I got fed up with taking care of him 24/7. Then, I switched to the victim and his dad became the savior. When I finally left them [her children and their dad], I felt like a awful culprit for being a bad mom. This same hellish triangle keeps coming up in all family relationships: with parents, partner, children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, etc.
3- We all keep going around in this triangle of hell until we die physically, or we die TO the roles. In past lives, we have all died in our roles and from our roles. This time, the challenge is to die TO the role without dying physically.
What helped me leave the family nest (a partner and two teens; the eldest was already living on her own) was that I could feel physically and emotionally that if I remained there, I would get sick and die. Deep down, I knew that their lives would go on without me if I died. I was able to admit to myself that I was not really irreplaceable. After I left them, it took some time for everyone to adjust. They all told me after 1-2 years that they felt much better now that I was gone. So did I, because I could finally reclaim my life without dying.
It is only after I had left the family that I was able to give my body to my soul – first mentally, then emotionally, and later physically. Deep down, I always wanted to be of service to someone or something. That is why I had enjoyed being a good daughter, spouse and mother. Now, I am serving my soul — Idessa (Supreme Authority) individualized in space and time.”

2 thoughts on “Family Roles: a Difficult Deprogramming

  1. This is a fantastic read for me personally. Must acknowledge that you are one of many coolest writer I at any time saw. Thanks for posting this valuable information. This was what exactly I was on looking for. I will come back to this blog for sure!

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