“The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie” Ann Landers
I’d like to share with you a newly released book “Men Do Not Want Children” by Patrice Berthiaume. It is not an easy read and I speak as a woman. Indeed, the subject is politically incorrect and may upset many. Forget about any delicacy of words making it even more credible in its inescapable bit of rawness. Men are exposed for who they are in their intrinsic nature. Yet, their secret garden revealed benefits men and women – at least the ones who are tired of the illusion of a relationship and want to live in truth with the opposite sex. In this essay, women are not spared either since they share in the perpetuation of the non-sense of a relationship’s intricacies. I don’t want to spoil the fairy tale that most of us don’t want to wake up from but in a nutshell Prince Charming falls off his horse and Sleeping Beauty off her bed. It hurts at first even destabilizing for a moment but it’s to get back on our two feet stronger than ever and walk a different path – that of Truth beyond animal consciousness.
Men do not want children, just… sex! This is probably one of the most shocking statements of the last century concerning the real identity of human males. Yet, isn’t it true that men are fundamentally addicted to gratification and orgasms? Aren’t children a hindrance to their dream of conquest and to their freedom? Homo Sapiens chase after prestige, power and money, but to what end? Is the goal – the hidden agenda – to mount the maximum number of females and finally reach the pinnacle of their sexuality, just to dominate and control?
What do children come into the equation? Besides locking the couple in the family cage and ensuring the survival of the species, can reproduction be a tool used to correct karma? Or do we simply seek to control our entire territory, in other words, to own our partner? Does desire and seduction really raise us to the heights of true love?
A man finally has the nerve to dissect the true nature of men so that we can move forward. He’s not afraid to use harsh words to boldly go where most of us have never gone before (so to speak) and explore the land of authenticity. A rare and honest account in world focused on political correctness.
For thousands of years we’ve had this survival of the species instinct within us. It seems quite natural, then, that the majority of men are obsessed with the idea of having sex. It’s written in each of their billion cells; they are conditioned. Although everyone has a preference in regards to body shapes, sex is primarily mental imaginary. Men love this feeling of being excited by a cute woman, even if it doesn’t go any further. Just imagining the sexual potential makes his day. Willy Pasini call this “the mental thrill”. Some men prefer this than the action itself.
To have sex or not? A little, a lot, passionately or not at all? There’s no wrong answer! Since sexuality is a cellular program that’s been running for several millennia, there’s no need to feel guilty or to restrict yourself. There is no one to blame, no good, no bad; it’s just part of our subconscious. The road to consciousness, to the deepest Self, is long. I’m not advocating chastity or libertinism. On must simply be enlightened, conscious, able to realize the extent of our sexual dependencies. It is dependency! It is high time for men to talk about it without taboos. What are these unconscious mechanisms that are the lot of men and that determine their behavior? And why are they never satisfied?
In this book I mainly discuss men, but some situations may apply to both genders, regardless of sexual orientation. Everyone can recognize themselves through their own experiences. Epicurus, whom Michel Onfray likes to quote, approaches sexuality from the perspective that sexual desire is natural, but not necessary. Natural, meaning the animal nature of humans. While sexologists Sheree Conrad and Michael Milburn claim that our sexuality is as fundamental as our emotions, intellect or personality. That was once true, but now we are on the verge of a huge leap of consciousness. This one calls for the truth about one’s Self. Everything that had once seemed true is now starting to be perceived and felt as false. It’s no coincidence that we’ve seen an abundance of political scandals. Our consciousness now allows us to see them, but they’ve always existed! This is true for a couple, love and sexuality.
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
Let’s take a look at our society. Hierarchy is everywhere, it permeates all social classes and it reigns supreme. Modeled on animal societies, the strongest, the dominant being endowed with a penis, imposes its will and commands respect. His strength is worshiped. As long as we act as animals, suffering, deceit and illusion will persist.
In general, men, – improved chimpanzees – define themselves by their work and sexuality. These two activities have common denominators: possession and power. Here’s the proof: I’ve seen many men die just before or after their retirement. It’s hard not to see a connection between how they define themselves and this fact.
Man’s existence is based on the concept of ownership, especially of his flock. Even today, males see females as their property. Sex, more than anything else, allows and legitimizes this possession and perpetuates this dominant-dominated, penetrated-penetrating hell in which we’re living. Dominating one another inevitably reminds us of the animal kingdom.
Masked by a Prozac called “love”, sexuality – neither good nor bad in itself – has ensured the survival of the species. Trying to save the human flock from extinction, isn’t that a manifestation of our unconscious fear of death? The fear of our finite existence, of death, nourishes our old cellular memories. And it is mainly sex that provides the illusion of postponing that fateful day. In fact, it’s survival, nothing more.
For a man, having sex doesn’t mean love. Having sex means… having sex. That’s it! Animal instincts push a man to mount the female who offers herself to him. Men can have sex with hundreds of women, with no notion of love. That doesn’t mean that they are insensitive or disrespectful. Simply that sex is primarily mental and physical rather than emotional. In the words of Barry Long, “All men, without exception, are sex obsessed. This means compulsive sexual fantasizing, chronic masturbation (even when living with a partner), sex repression leading to anger and violence, and the universal symptoms of chasing wealth and getting lost in work.” […]
THE DOMINATED MAN
Not all men are sexually obsessed. For some, it’s always on their minds, while others think of it very little or not at all. Let’s go back to our great ape. Its cellular programming forces it to ensure the survival of the species. And men, like their hairy cousins, grow up drooling with the hope of mounting all the females on their turf. Sexually obsessed people distinguish themselves by the fact that they probably did not experience any incident or trauma that affected their libido. An underdeveloped libido and a damaged or annihilated self-esteem creates an image of men who are resigned, defeated, almost lifeless.
These men fear others and live submissive and dominated lives. Their submission to faithfulness and sexual exclusivity makes them give up or turn down all offers to explore other “gardens”. To avoid dying out completely, dominated men compensate with other things: sports, drugs, alcohol, work, leisure activities that bring them some fun or intellectual enjoyment.
In a herd, dominated males have a different hormonal status; in other words, their sex drive drops drastically. That’s what allows them to be second-class males. It’s probably the same with humans. Having lost their self-confidence, and unable to conquer, dominated males first feel sorry for themselves before eventually accepting their situation as being normal. They find the best reasons to remain in a rut, in a certain limbo. This, they believe, is where they belong; they think it’s a result of their upbringing, their experiences, their wife or boss, etc. They’re the archetypal good guy whose existence never makes waves, who’s usually attentive and focused, devoted to his family and work. They’re so nice that people are either indifferent to them or bored by them. Those guys’ wives manipulate them or flat out leave them. They’re criticized for being too soft, for being real losers. As strange as it may sound, we have seen some of them wreak havoc when pushed to the limit; their powerlessness turns into rage and then they go apeshit.
In general, dominated men choose the status quo, a stable and monotonous relationship, and a quiet sort of life. These men greatly prefer living a lie and maintaining a boring routine rather than facing separation, solitude or jumping into the unknown. In this, a lot of men and women are alike in their desire to get together and deceive themselves. “The couple, which is an association of reciprocal interests, is the alienating trap par excellence in regards to ‘being’. It encourages ‘having’ instead of ‘being’; this is the way that the social institution intended it.” (Paul Salomon in La Sainte Folie du Couple)
I always have a choice; I can either live this alienation with my partner or choose to break up and start fresh to explore new desire. However, in the end, I might achieve the same results and simply repeat another absurd conjugal experience before falling back into the vile business of grief. Being with someone isn’t a guarantee of well-being and personal realization. And yet, we’ve been followed this path for centuries! What’s wrong with humans? Is credulity that makes us hope that one day this dream will become a reality? Honestly, after repeating the same stories again and again, we know this is nothing but borrowed time. Does that mean that each and every one of us is more of less submissive? Oh boy! Before we can reach this conclusion, let’s take a look at the dominant ones… this ought to be much more exciting!
THE DOMINANT MAN
How are post-feminism men fairing? Are there still dominant men among us? By all means, yes! And they’re still perceived as the best men. Deep down, nothing has changed. The kings of the jungle, the fittest, lay down the law and their conditions and lifestyle rule the world. It’s only recently that kings stopped having sex with all the women in their kingdom. Dominant men are easy to spot.
Observe the first meeting of two male cats; they arch their back, puff their tails and swell up like balloons to scare the opponent. One will have to be the scared one. It this strategy doesn’t work – but it usually does – then they’ll have to fight each other in order to determine who the dominant one is. It’s the same for humans. We might not all train at the gym or take steroids to look big. Social standing, money and intelligence have in fact replaced muscle. When next to a man possessing a high social standing and lots of money, who could get just about anything and anyone, it’s easy to feel intimidated and even worthless.
A wealthy man has a lot of leeway. His power lies in his ability to choose a number of sexual partners who will be among the most beautiful ones. Whereas the penniless man sees his opportunities reduced, left to only fantasize about the lifestyle of the well-off men. However, if a wealthy man stays with the same woman for a long time, it’s common for our penniless guy to chuckle. Why, you ask? Simply because he believes the rich man to be under his wife’s yoke, to be subjugated. Thus, our frustrated and dominated man has found – or imagined – a weakness in his opponent. Whether this Achilles hell is real or not is irrelevant. Targeting one’s opponent’s tender spot is like a cat arching its back. It allows a man to display this dominance.
In the mind of everyone, be they struggling with the fear of being dominated or taking pleasure in dominating, this process takes place in silence. In this face to face, each plays a subtle game. Even though suspicion prevails in such situations, one thing is clear: everyone wants the same thing, namely sex. We want a territory to defend, protect… and control.
Dominant men breathe – and inspire – confidence, even though it takes root in the subjection, intimidation and crushing of others. They maintain their dominance over others through their sexuality conquests and the prestige that they get from it. The conqueror, the one that fucks, believes he’s respected and respectable. The apparent superiority that drives his dick also gives him the impression that his wife loves him and will stay with him forever, which stems from the belief that only he can fulfill her sexuality! In other words, every man thinks his wife will become dependent on him and only him. After all, if he was not around, his wife’s life would be really ordinary. Males spend considerable amounts of energy catering to this semblance of power and deploying it around him.
[read more book excerpts on Patrice Berthiaume's website]
Patrice Berthiaume, is the author of two books “Men Do Not Want Children” and “Si la Sexualite Disparaissait” [not translated in English yet]. Father of two, is a unique character whose uncommon views on life keeps surprising readers. He has delved into theology, esoterism and Kabbalah and has ventured outside the beaten path into the underground and the forbidden. Always provocative, he paints an accurate picture of human nature and is not afraid to take a long, hard look at men. He gives workshops in North America and Europe about sex, relationship and love.
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